Author Topic: I went on the internet and I found this - Joke Thread  (Read 529433 times)

Offline Mr.Deceptive

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Re: I went on the internet and I found this - Joke Thread
« Reply #975 on: 31-07-2010, 00:07:04 »
I think it's some kind of jew joke :\

i lol'd.
There's no difference between being holy and alone

Offline [WDW]Megaraptor

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Re: I went on the internet and I found this - Joke Thread
« Reply #976 on: 31-07-2010, 03:07:58 »
huh?

I'm guessing this has something to do with Angela Merkel and austerity budgets.

I guess you have to be German to get it.

Offline MaJ.P.Bouras

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Re: I went on the internet and I found this - Joke Thread
« Reply #977 on: 31-07-2010, 03:07:23 »
He is a Greek Taxi Driver and that on the TV is Angela Mergel....It means that she got pissed for him asking so much that she came back asking a shitload more  ;D Just making fun of the Greek Dept being revenge in some way

Offline spartanlegend

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Re: I went on the internet and I found this - Joke Thread
« Reply #978 on: 31-07-2010, 05:07:23 »
He is a Greek Taxi Driver and that on the TV is Angela Mergel....It means that she got pissed for him asking so much that she came back asking a shitload more  ;D Just making fun of the Greek Dept being revenge in some way
I lol'd after you explained it.

Offline siben

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Offline G.Drew

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"Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory" - Gen. George S. Patton
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Offline Seth_Soldier

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Re: I went on the internet and I found this - Joke Thread
« Reply #981 on: 31-07-2010, 20:07:25 »

Offline Cory the Otter

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Re: I went on the internet and I found this - Joke Thread
« Reply #982 on: 01-08-2010, 01:08:57 »
http://www.cracked.com/article_18646_the-5-most-insane-improvised-weapons-that-were-animals.html

The "Weapon"

A puppy (alive).

If you just had to throw a puppy at someone, your viable options would likely make a short list. Mailman, neighbor kids, the guy who canceled Arrested Development. We can't imagine "Hells Angel" would end up on anyone's list. That is unless of course you're a 26-year-old German student whom we'll just call Testosticor Fantastiballs.


Portrayed here by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Testosticor, like many people, suffered from depression. Unlike many people, however, he chose a rather interesting way of coping with it. Instead of, say, finding solace in loved ones or sitting in the dark listening to Joy Division, he felt that rather more... drastic action was required.

So, he grabbed the first puppy he saw, leapt manfully into his car and tore up the Autobahn until he'd reached the nearest Hells Angels hideout.


Probably in this vehicle.

Arming himself with nothing more than the puppy, he strode into the grounds and proceeded to heroically... drop his shorts.

While the Angels were stymied trying to figure out why a psychopath had just strode into their clubhouse and mooned them, Testosticor executed his masterstroke: He withdrew the bemused puppy (presumably from a holster) and hurled it at the nearest leather-clad guy.


Impregnating all of these women in the process.

So get the image in your head: Here's this guy with pants around his ankles, throwing puppies at a motorcycle gang on their compound. Take that in.

OK? Let's continue (and yes, the puppy was fine).

By this point, Testosticor must have partially come to his senses and decided to follow-up his patently absurd assault with the most bizarrely awesome escape attempt in the history of shenanigans.

The first phase of his retreat strategy involved running over to a building site and commandeering a fully operational bulldozer.

The second phase was coming to the realization that, however awesome, bulldozers aren't actually very fast. Phase three had him causing a three-mile traffic jam on the highway and phase four saw him finally abandon the bulldozer (still on the highway) and hitchhike all the way home.


Who knew that you could hitchhike to Valhalla?

All in all, a very well executed plan.

Despite arriving safely home, Mr. Fantastiballs was quickly apprehended by the law and charged with being the world's best person. The court sentenced him to life in luxury and all the eager German milk maidens he could ravage [citation needed].

As for the puppy? Well, it was handed over to an animal shelter, and is probably living comfortably off the royalties it made selling its heart-warming story to Hollywood.

Offline THeTA0123

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Re: I went on the internet and I found this - Joke Thread
« Reply #983 on: 01-08-2010, 01:08:46 »
-i am fairly sure that if they took porn off the internet, there would only be one website left and it would be called bring back the porn "Perry cox, Scrubs.

Offline Dnarag1M

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Re: I went on the internet and I found this - Joke Thread
« Reply #984 on: 01-08-2010, 01:08:35 »
The nice thing about this thread is that you can safely ignore & 100% skip anything The Warrior posts because its always too long, too boring, stupid or just plain completely and utterly NOT INTERESTING.

Sometimes I read a few lines and just start yawning, great for falling asleep when being insomniac!  ;D

Offline spartanlegend

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Re: I went on the internet and I found this - Joke Thread
« Reply #985 on: 01-08-2010, 05:08:13 »
You calling Cracked.com unfunny or uninteresting? That story was hilarious, I remember when I first read it on the news.

Offline Chariot

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Re: I went on the internet and I found this - Joke Thread
« Reply #986 on: 02-08-2010, 07:08:51 »
« Last Edit: Today at 18:07:17 by Chariot »
Also known as HMS Campbeltown

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Offline siben

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Re: I went on the internet and I found this - Joke Thread
« Reply #987 on: 02-08-2010, 11:08:24 »
Even though i have not touched it on over 3 years I still think this guy has the best job in the world :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdruct9pB7E

Edit: Fixed terrible grammatical error
« Last Edit: 02-08-2010, 13:08:39 by siben »

Offline Wasntmenl

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Re: I went on the internet and I found this - Joke Thread
« Reply #988 on: 02-08-2010, 13:08:42 »
I want that job  :-[

Offline Captain Pyjama Shark

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Re: I went on the internet and I found this - Joke Thread
« Reply #989 on: 02-08-2010, 15:08:01 »