I felt compelled tonight, to sit down and explain why some-lets be honest-most, of my projects have gone unfinished.
There was a time when I looked forward to nothing else, than coming home from school or work, to sit down at my desk and get to work creating new content for Battlefield. It was my hobby. I loved it. Mods like Battlefield Pirates, and Forgotten Hope; coupled with extra-ordinary communities fueled a fire inside me that kept me driving to mod. It was a way to distract myself from everything I did, a place where I made many good friends, and learned skills that people have paid lots of money for to learn. I used to sit in the Battlecraft Editor for hours tossing static objects around, and finding ways to realize ideas that I had.
Something changed though. This change has left me fundamentally unable to rekindle the old spirit I had for modding. I sit down to do something simple, like code some AI for myself to test a single-player theory. Or to sit down and try to animate a weapon for a project like No Mans Land, and soon find myself bored of it very quickly. For a reason I cannot explain my Battlefield flame has burned out. I used to play these wonderful games for hours. I once did the math, and I have played Battlefield 1942 on average, everyday, for at least 30 minutes, for the past eight years straight; that is how many hours I have records of.
Somehow Battlefield's old glory has died on me though. It has perished in a way I cannot possibly explain. It feels terrible to sit here and realize that I could be making something spectacular for us all to enjoy, but for some reason I don't.
In a way all these words form into an apology to the community. I won't be working on these projects anymore, not because I don't want to see them realized; and not because I see them as hopeless endeavors, but because for some reason...I no longer like Battlefield. Its crazy to say those words. I've met my best friend, and hopeful future wife through the game, gotten offered scholarships to attend college, and even can thank Forgotten Hope as a foremost inspiration into my private studies of military history, which ultimately led to my enlistment in the United States Army. Battlefield is as much a defining force of my life as my parents were.
I keep an eye on these forums, occasionally throwing my two cents in where it seems viable. I still play Battlefield on the weekends for a round or two. I even joined in on a match of FH2 last week. But, here is where I must both apologize for, and announce my leave from these projects.
-Archi
