I just read the entirety of this thread and I am a little stocked to this FH2 vs PR debate. As a solid PR player (even though I do occasionally play FH2 too), it seems to me people are forgetting some basic elements when you're new in a game.
First of all, you join the forum and introduce yourself to the community so that you can be welcomed by the nicest ones. Second, you read the manual or watch videos to understand the in-game mechanics. Third, having acquired the basic knowledge in what are the best servers, voip systems, what to do or not as a newbie, THEN you can finally start judging the game for what it is.
Finally, patience. Whether it's fast-paced, a MMORPG or Minecraft, you need to give the game a fair chance for a few days as opposed to hours.
This is obviously not directed to the loyal FH2 core, but rather a general trend I find in online gaming communities. It's about being sensible, which in this time and age for over 18 years old should be more than common.
Which leads me to another thing that wasn't referred in here. PR squad structural system and VOIP usage (about 90% of the community) is what leading you to believe there's more assholes than any other BF2 mod. Not only it obliges you to randomly interact with strangers in order to enjoy it properly, but listening to assholes just emphasize the annoyance even more.
But if you do join the right servers the likelihood of facing rude people or finding bad teamwork drops significantly. Even to nil, if you get to know who are the best Squad Leaders around.
My experience as a newbie was intimidating, I must confess. I didn't read the manual and all those things I am now suggesting. In fact, I screwed up so much and felt hurt on some treatment that when I joined a clan they explained me everything and straight me up in a couple of weeks. After that, I understood some of the behavior behind it and knew where to go and what to do to have fun. Even my patience developed considerably with time and I now I'm facing issues in returning to fast-paced FPS. It doesn't give me time to think or is just as a complex tactically (doesn't mean same will occur to you though).
I'm opening a paragraph for my last line as it was often referred around here.
As some people very well said, it is a reenactment/role-playing like any other attempt at a military simulation. I also dislike calling PR the latter since it's obvious just an arcadey version of Arma II - bending the perception of realism due to BF2 engine limitations and also to promote better teamwork.
However, most Squad Leaders are not over-complicating it or having an megalomaniac behavior. To what I understood, it's some of you who here that don't understand how the game is played and then whine to why you have to wait (holding a strategical location/covering a friendly squad/capping a flag/defending FOB) or why isn't the squad more straightforward (most of the times it will lead to massive failure). Every SL have their own style at doing things - experience alike - and it will definitely reflect on the outcome. This "over the top tactical behavior" you speak of is nothing but a false perception, since the only ones that actually behave like that are elitist clans with tactics like "passive-agressive" and all that bs - and they are not efficient in-game.
At the end, it's just a need - a team or squad one. A Squad Leader can't command and get a cohesive group if you start walking randomly away from the medic or think it's cool to shoot an enemy 100 meters away when the squad is capping the flag stealthily.
Lonewolfing and self-righteous thinking gets you killed so some discipline is in order - to enjoy the game. You're not Silly Savage (and he has tons of experience behind him, even though in this particularly case it was largely backed up by luck):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-Wmsd2FvVgNot denying that a few SLs may be rude or even dumb, but when that happens, just move to another squad and report any abusive behavior to the admins.
And to end this post, - apart from all the other variables I referred - I have no idea what ill treatment to newbies is that in our community. Anyone that has a regular reading in our forums, anyone that has played it for months or years, will assure that it is a lie or a misconception. I haven't testified it once and believe it or not, when a new guy gets in a squad and tell us promptly that he is new - most will "overhelp" him. Last time I found myself giving random tips along with 4 guys to this newbie that at some point I thought we were annoying him. That's how helpful most of PR players are.
If it's not your cup of tea, then it's not your cup of tea. But don't try to deconstruct something that you clearly spent little time at.