I just dont understand anime and why people are so obsessed with it, i probably never will.
It's just an art medium. As with all other forms of entertainment there's the bad stuff, and the good stuff. It sounds like you have had the misfortune of experiencing mostly the bad stuff.
Of course, I can't recommend you any good anime, as with movies there are many different genres and settings, ranging from WWII, the future, and everyday life.
Although when it comes to WWII, there is the OVA (original video animation) "The Cockpit" which has three stories. One is about Japanese Ohka pilots, the other is about FW-190s, Ta-152s and Germanys nuclear program (if I recall), and the third one is.. well I can't quite remember.
There is also "Zipang" which is the story of a modern day SDF aegis cruiser being sent back in time to WWII (much like The Final Countdown), and the series details the moral implications of them fighting back. Eventually they are forced to engage an American carrier group despite trying not to get involved.
There are many others that I can't remember at the moment.
As another example, here is a clip from the Area 88 OVA, which has plenty of modern air combat.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVCEL2roup8No subtitles sadly, but the detailed dogfighting is more than enough entertainment.
