I'm not really defeated by this news, it was more cruel in the sense Eat Uranium said a pure lie.
We've not had an April Fools update since 2011. We decided that they are not worth it any more. Today just happens to be like 2012, when the availability of news to post coincided with April 1st.
Also, I'll have you know, that at least one line of text in this update is factual.