Heres something happy that happened to me guys:
>Be me 5/10 Omega Eurofag virgin
>Not many friends, extremely beta around grills, shit at school, strange interests etc.
>Awkward as fuck in almost all social interactions
>Foreveralone.jpg
>Apparently mom had it with her beta son and decides to man me the fuck up
>She and her two friends (who might have been plowing her as she was working red light) think taking me to a strip club will cut it.
>At first argue against it but dem hormones convince me otherwise
>Big day comes, pack my shit, wear my fedora and get ready for achieving manhood.
>Go to club with mommas friends, get welcomed by flock of 9/10 grills and the bar owner (friend of friends)
>Too beta to even ask for a bitch that i wanna fuck, owner says he will choose for me
>Out of all the blonde and redhead 9/10s he chose this 6/10 Cholota looking Hlatino HUEHUE unit
>Consider bailing but sex is sex and too late for that anyways
>She Takes me to this room for the occasion.
>Owner tells her to take it easy cause I'm virgin
>Spaghetti starts dripping out of pockets "Soooo Do you like teamwork?"
>she sighs and takes her clothes off, i do the same
>Bootyhadmelike.gif
>Lying in bed and start by licking her nice round knockers a bit
>Shit tastes ballons. I did not sign up for this shit.
>Betafag intensifies but she takes the reigns and leads on
>Puts on the condom while blowing me
>Condom too big, cant feel a thing
>Dont know how to proceed, Save me Jeebus!!
>Strike of genius
>Porn has taught me that the ol' lickaroo down under is apparently better than sex for a man
>A terrible idea that my mouth would live to regret.
>Proceed to lick her Vagoogoo. Shit tastes weird but beggars cant be choosers
>Switch to some good old doggy style action for some time, but condom doesn't allow me to enjoy
>Also pussy the size of Boeing 747
>30 secs in Omaha and feel like i had enough of war. Wasn't penetrating that line of defense properly anyways
>Ask for some head but if we could take out the condom
>NOPE.avi
>Says condom only, i accept and ask her to proceed
>Shits cash, only drawback the condom.
>Feel fart knocking on anus's barricaded gates
>enemy_at_the_gates.mp4
>Try to evade the release of the bloodhounds
>Large intestine thinks otherwise and pushes with all its might
>STOP_RIGHT_THERE_CRIMINAL_SCUM.mp3
>Squeeze my cheeks in hopes of stopping the Russian horde
>nope
>Fart a loud 120db monster fart with a side of mutilated corpse. Its like Stalingrad all over again
>spaghetti explodes from all pockets to all directions in at least a 3km radius
>Say "S-Sorry" as i try to avoid eye contact
>Bitch not the least bit affected, shrugs it off like a pro and keeps sucking my erect genitalia
>Everythingwentbetterthanexpected.png
>Jizz in 60 seconds flat, Usain got nothing on me
>Get cleaned, pick up clothes. The dirty deed is done, time to bail
>We go out where my moms friends congratulate me
>Feel alpha for once
>Big Boss asks her "So everything alright"?
>She says "Well he was a very nice guy to fuck" obviously lying just to boost my ego
>"T-thanks you too"
And that's Anon lost his virginity