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Author Topic: Third Reigh humor  (Read 1365 times)

Taranov

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Third Reigh humor
« on: 20-06-2009, 21:06:06 »
NSDAP = Na, suchst du auch Pöstchen?
NSKK = Nur Säufer, keine Kämpfer
BDM = Bald deutsche Mutter
BDM = Bedarfsartikel deutscher Männer
BDM = Bubi drück mich

http://www.humanitiesresource.com/twentieth_cen/articles/nazi.htm
http://www.buechervielfrass.de/archiv.php4?was=933
http://books.google.com/books?id=M4IOAAAAQAAJ&lpg=PA204&ots=cwEmaHCleP&dq=Third%20Reich%20Humor&pg=PP1
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Offline Fearbefore.

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Re: Third Reigh humor
« Reply #1 on: 20-06-2009, 22:06:31 »
Hitler, has only got one ball!
Goering, has two but they are small!
Himmler, has something similar,
but poor old Goebbels, has no balls at all!
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Offline Dukat

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Re: Third Reigh humor
« Reply #2 on: 20-06-2009, 22:06:38 »
Hitler, Goebbels and Goering are sitting in a bunker. Who will be saved, when the bunker receives a direct hit? - Germany.


What do you get for a newly found joke in germany? - 2 month in Dachau.


But the most popular is the one with the butcher:

The limousine of Hitler is running over a pig in front of a butchers door. Hitler sends his driver in to offer compensation. "Heil Hitler. The pig is dead!" - "Finally! Here, help yourself with the big sausages."
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Quote from: Smiles on 13-10-2010, 19:10:59
I usually imagine my own sounds with it, like `tjunk, tupdieyupdiedee` aaa enemy spotted, ratatatataboom

Offline Ts4EVER

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Re: Third Reigh humor
« Reply #3 on: 21-06-2009, 19:06:46 »
My grandma used to tell me these:

"Berlin is perfect as headquarters!" "Why?" "Soon you can take the tram from the east to the west front."

Magda Goebbels awakes in the middle of the night and goes to the toilet. She doesn't come back. After ten minutes her husbands goes to the bathroom to see what's she's doing. She runs around the toilet with a lit torch. Goebbels asks: "What are you doing honey?" She says: "Well, you also do a rally for every crap."

also:

"kv" stands for "kriegsverwendungsfähig" (suitable for war) but was often translated with:
"Keinerlei Verbindungen" (no connections)
"krepiert vielleicht" (probably dies)
"kann verrecken" (can die)
« Last Edit: 21-06-2009, 19:06:10 by Ts4EVER »
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Offline [WDW]Megaraptor

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Re: Third Reigh humor
« Reply #4 on: 21-06-2009, 19:06:01 »
Q: How do you stop a Polish tank?
A: Shoot the guys that are pushing it.

Q: Why did the new Italian navy have glass bottoms in the ships?
A: So they can see the old Italian navy.
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Offline Schneider

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Re: Third Reigh humor
« Reply #5 on: 21-06-2009, 22:06:42 »
Why do italian tanks have rearview-mirrors?
- So that they can see the frontline.
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Offline VonMudra

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Re: Third Reigh humor
« Reply #6 on: 21-06-2009, 22:06:53 »
How do you sink the Polish Navy?

Drain the bathtub.

How do you invade Poland?

Fill out Form 23B and get in line.
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Offline THeTA0123

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Re: Third Reigh humor
« Reply #7 on: 21-06-2009, 23:06:24 »
How many gears did a french tank had?   2 Front, a neutral and 6 reverse

We have one kick-ass joke here in Belgium bout our occupation,  but it requires body language...Shame
« Last Edit: 21-06-2009, 23:06:21 by THeTA0123 »
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Offline Kev4000

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Re: Third Reigh humor
« Reply #8 on: 22-06-2009, 00:06:46 »
How do you sink a Swedish submarine? You knock on the door
(its a Norwegian - Swedish rival joke, not really a war joke but I saw it fit)
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Offline Meadow

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Re: Third Reigh humor
« Reply #9 on: 22-06-2009, 01:06:44 »
Hitler said 'give me ten years and you will not recognise Germany!'.

He was right.
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Offline [WDW]Megaraptor

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Re: Third Reigh humor
« Reply #10 on: 22-06-2009, 02:06:52 »
A joke that was told in America in 2003, before the invasion of Iraq.

You know the world's coming to an end when...
the best golfer is black,
the best rapper is white,
the tallest player in the NBA is Chinese,
the Germans don't want to go to war,
the French are accusing the US of being arrogant,
and the most powerful men in the world are named Bush, Dick and Colin.
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Offline Kubador

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Re: Third Reigh humor
« Reply #11 on: 22-06-2009, 02:06:09 »
A lil' conversion but what the heck.

Hitler with his chauffeur were driving on a freeway for a war meeting. The driver was a bit old and carefull so he didn't drive fast but Hitler wanted to be on time so he said he'll drive himself. What Adolf says is done - the driver sat in the back. On their way Hitler was pushing the car to it's speed limit and becouse of that a higway patrol stopped them. One of the policeman asks to open the window and give all the necessary papiren but when he sees Adolf Hitler he gets all pale, bows and let them through.

"Why did you let him go? Who was that?" - asks the other policeman.

"I have no idea. But his driver was the furher himself!"
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Offline Cory the Otter

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Re: Third Reigh humor
« Reply #12 on: 24-06-2009, 22:06:26 »
This entire thread is full of wins of an epic scale.
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Offline THeTA0123

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Re: Third Reigh humor
« Reply #13 on: 25-06-2009, 14:06:50 »
A JU-52 with german paratroopers above Greece.

The instructor guides every single parachutist to the door and pushes him out.

"Come on , come on , come on !" "We dont have time to mess around !"

"Out with you cowards!" "Come on ! The next one ! go go go!"

But one of them resists to jump by all means. He kicks punches and screams, tries to stem his legs against the doorframe.

"Out with you !" "We have no time for cowards !"

At last, the instructor gives him a kick and he flies out of the door...

The remaining parachutists start to laugh..

"You think that was funny or what ?"

"Funny ? , yes indeed sir.....that was the pilot"
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