I can't stop crying....
Logan just passed away in my arms, about 10, 15 minutes ago. We were sitting here at my computer, when he suddenly starting moving around, trying to get out of the box. I thought he wanted some water, so I picked him out and sit him down by the water dish, and he immediately collapsed down, unable to get to the water. So I held him up, holding his head over the water, but he didn't drink at all. At that point, I took him into my arms, and he started mouth breathing, gasping for deep breaths. I walked out to my mom, and she (having had our other 2 cats die in her arms) immediately knew what was happening. So we walked outside (Logan was an indoor cat, but the past few days, the he started begging to go outside, and we couldn't say no, so we took him on guided walks around the backyard. He loved it.) and sat down on chairs, with me holding him in my lap.
We sat for a long time, when he suddenly started twitching, little twitches like muscle spasms in his legs and neck and tail. This went on for awhile, and his pupils started getting really big. We brought out his fave toy (a little chew toy turtle stuffed with catnip, we got it for him for x-mas last year, and he loved it). My mom picked a flower from her garden, and held it in front of his eyes, so he would have something to look at. We talked and sat and petted him for awhile, soothing him through the occasional convulsions. Me and my mom started talking about past memories of him and such, periodically checking to make sure he was still breathing, which he was, but just barely.
Then, after an hour or so, my mom looked at him (we hadn't checked in few minutes) and noticed he had stopped breathing. We moved him around a little, trying to get any response at all, and my mom and I took turns holding him and the other putting an ear to his chest to listen for a heartbeat. But there was nothing. Logan passed away, quietly, peacefully, on my lap and in my arms.
This is the last picture we ever took of him, from yesterday. He had managed to walk almost the whole way from the hallway (he had collapsed there earlier from trying to walk) to the den just down the hallway, and in to his spot we always have for him at the window (he likes to lay there in the afternoon sun). He collapsed just before reaching it, and I had to pick him up and lay him down onto the blanket. He curled up into it and looked so relaxed, almost normal, like nothing was wrong. So I went back to my room, got my camera, and snapped this photo:
Rest in Peace my dear, sweet Logan....